Sorry :(

I'm sorry I've not really said anything. I don't think anyone wants to hear a depressed girl going on about what's bothering her and stuff. Other than that it would have just been a lot of stupid school stuff. We're done with school for the summer.

My name's been officially changed also. I am now Samantha Candice Clarke! <3 Love you and miss you so much mommy. You'll always be here inside of me.

Now to the interesting stuff. And the reason I'm writing this. Since I've been out of school I've been getting up early and going and watching the morning cartoons on Nick and just relaxing by the TV. Dean and I would do it together and have fun and just be the great duo that we are. Well. Today, I slept in. Through my alarm it seems. So I woke up it was like, noon. I went downstairs and got myself some cereal and made my way to the living room to sit on the couch and rest and just eat my cereal and watch a movie or something. As I went to sit down I had to stop myself. there was some strange dude on the couch. Taben and Aiden aren't here, so it couldn't be someone they had over. I'm not sure if it's a friend of Brennon's or not. I didn't hear anything about him having them over. So I did what anyone would do. I called Brennon to ask him. Brennon was baffled. I'm kinda scared now. He's gonna come home early if he can manage. I just saw Bran's entry about Todd. This isn't Todd. Alexander. Whoever. I don't know. I'm kinda freaking out right now. What if he wakes up. He doesn't look like he's in good shape. I hope to Gods he's not dead. I didn't check to see if he's breathing. I'm hiding in my room now. This is scary. Come home soon Brennon :(

So very frustrating

We're just finally back to school. I've got a normal routine starting up finally. And now, here I am. Tomorrow os our last day then we're on spring break for a week >:{ This is not fair.

And because some people are asses we're not going to have the awesome birthday weekend we were hoping to. I don't understand this whole Rat thing.... It makes me not happy though. I guess we have Taben's friend Mateo coming up to visit though? I'm going to try and ask Todd to stay as well. Though I don't know. I kinda feel bad that I'd be keeping him away from Branwen.

My life just sucks. I hate being lonely and away from my friends. :{

I'm just going to go to bed early tonight. Maybe I'll sleep the weekend away.

Aiden

  Everyone left around noon today. We went and got the bushes we were gonna get. We got two blue berry bushes and two black bettye bushes. I'm going to make a little area in the side of the yard to plant them and set up a small altar to mom and dad in it as well.

So we got home and Aiden just went to his room and he's been asleep. He's been quiet and hasn't talked to any of us really. Taben's been hovering by the door. It's sad but he's the only person that we have that can completely keep an eye on Aiden since they have some mental thing going on? I have no frickin' clue.

I'm just wanting people to keep Aiden in your thoughts and all. He was pretty clingy and didn't want people leaving today. It's weird and not really like him. I hope next weekend will help him. Having people here and all. Still I'm really concerned. Keep him in your thoughts please guys?

I'm gonna go out and enjoy the weather some. Take care.

Today

People are arriving. I think Bran and her friends just pulled in.

Taben and Aiden got back a little while ago. I feel so blank and empty right now. So uncertain. I am uncertain. I don't know what to do or how to take this all right now. I just want to break down and cry. I just don't know what I want. I don't want to be alone but I feel alone. I want someone to just hold me and let me cry and tell me it'll be alright. It's going to be alright, isn't it? It's gotta be. I've got Aiden and Brennon and Dean. They're all here.

I've applied for my name change. I'm taking my mother's name. Samantha Candice. I miss mom. I miss dad too, but I miss mom most. I could talk to her and she understood my problems. I don't have anyone that understands girl things now. Well I have Bran I guess. I don't know though. I don't want to be a pest to her.

No one ever survives a stalking from the Slender Man. I've read up on that stuff. I know that's how it works. Why does everyone think we'll make it? How can we make it when the odds are against us? I'm so scared. I don't even know what to do.

I'd better go. Lunch is ready. Small lunch then we wait for Brennon's family to get here. Then we can get this over with. I want today to be done. Tomorrow after everyone leaves we're going to go buy trees in mom and dad's memory to plant. Though I've been talking to them and trying to convince them about maybe some fruit bushes. blueberries or blackberries. Mom and dad loves them and they loved the pies they could make with them as well. Every harvest we could make pies and give them some on our alters as an offering and blessing to them.

I'll have to run that by Brennon and Aiden. I like that idea. I like baking. Maybe Taben can help me with stuff. I just hope he doesn't feel insulted about it. He's a good guy, he really is. I really enjoy his company. Maybe we can go out and do stuff like my mom and I used to do.

I better go. I'm turning into a depressing rambling teenager, and we all know what people seem to think of such beings.

Pchoooooooooooooooo

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Ugh! Boys!

I get back from a nice day out with Brennon. Dean and I went out to get signed up with the school (which was bust they can't do that until they have custody of us or something?) and then he took us shopping. Dean got his still video games and I got this cute little mini dress. I think it'll be perfect for the wedding and all. :)

Of course then I get home and seeing Aiden still going on about stupid stuff. >:[ You ass I will punch you when I see you. If I have to ask Kelly to do that portal thing to get me into your room I will. Seriously, I'm getting so sick of that >:(

Really man, stop it! You are such a child!

And Kell, I'm sorry they're doing this. This is how it's always been. :( Please don't let it chase you away from hanging out with us and stuff.I hate my brothers so bad right now >:[

Update

I'm very lucky. I couldn't be happier with where I ended up.

Of course I'm sad. I miss my parents. I really do. But I have Aiden and I have Dean. I don't know where I'd be without the jerks. Even despite their teasing and pestering, I have them.

And this house is comforting. And it's happy. I'm happy here. And the people that live here are great. Even if one of them pops in and out randomly and doesn't exactly 'live' here. Well. two of them I guess.

I miss mommy and daddy. I will but. I keep tryin to remember that we were taught that fate lead the way and when fate said it was our time, then it was our time. And that means it must have been mom and dad's time. right?

I guess Brennon heard back from the attorney. Aiden has to go in Friday for an appointment. We all do. Well myself Dean and Aiden anyways. We were the only ones in mom and dad's wills. It's kind of scary.  Aiden was saying today that not this weekend, but the weekend after we'd have the wake. But then he was thinking about having it on the same day as his and Brennon's wedding.

Mom and dad always said they wanted to celebrate, and what better way to celebrate than with a wedding? At the same time I'm really nervous that this could make Brennon and Aiden unable to really celebrate their wedding as they should.

I'm really not sure what to say. I'm so confused. I'm a bit tiered.

And embarrassed. I still want to beat Dean and Aiden for teasing me like they did. I can't believe they told him! Augh! Boys! I swear!